This month we send heart shaped cards to those we love and others we simply enjoy through friendship. Our children write special notes to their teachers and classmates and present us with handmade Valentine’s we’ll cherish forever. While sharing kind words and speaking with love for others, we may also focus on how we speak to ourselves. As we work on our own self dialogue, we find tools to share with our athletes who may be more critical of themselves relative to their sport and beyond their athletic endeavors.

Your Inner Dialogue

It is difficult to always find positive thoughts about ourselves, our situations and those around us. We all have challenging days and interactions, and those may be the best days to take a step back. Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can. Give yourself time to breathe, relax, meditate or exercise. Taking a much-needed break, no matter how much time you allow yourself, may help you avoid your own negative feelings. You will have a moment to think before snapping unkind comments to your peers, family, and especially children. I try to take one minute every hour to focus on my breathing. My shoulders relax every time I take the first deep breath, and often that is a sufficient reset to get through the next hour calmly.

There are also days when everything runs smoothly. They may seem few and far between, especially during your children’s busy sport seasons. When you are fortunate to experience harmony in your day, be sure to appreciate the moment. You could journal about or simply note what worked well in your day. Perhaps a slight schedule change or a new approach to a situation could be implemented to ease future stressful days.

Speaking with Love to Your Child

Athletes are very aware of how they measure up to their peers. They are already critical of their skill set, their body image, their successes, and their shortcomings. As their parents, you have the unique opportunity to offer them unconditional love and acceptance. Remind them you love and admire them daily. Speak to them kindly when you need to discipline or offer constructive criticism. (Sometimes, this is easier said than done.) If you are having a rough day, take a previously mentioned idea to calm yourself before addressing your child.

Encourage your child to speak and think with self-confidence and self-love. Brainstorm with them to list the qualities they like about themselves. Often, an athlete focuses on what has gone wrong in a practice or game. They may feel stressed about succeeding in school while putting in extra practice time for their sport. They may be blinded by their struggles and not see all that is wonderful about them. Remind your child of their:

• Kindness to others
• Ability to make good choices
• Courage to try hard things
• Motivation to work for their goals
• Embracing their individuality
• Love and joy they bring to your family

Their appearance is not mentioned, because all our children are beautiful. Still, parents need to encourage positive body image. Prepare and offer healthy food choices. Help them establish a healthy self-care routine with lotions, soaps, hair care and other little luxuries they love to use. A healthy body helps to maintain a healthy mindset.

Take advantage of this month to show love to your friends, your family, and yourself. Find ways to spread that feeling of love and positivity throughout the rest of the year. We all deserve to feel warmth and kindness every day.