I was coaching a skater who was struggling with her flip jump and had never successfully landed one. She could already do a toe loop jump nicely. To explain, her toe loop glides on her right foot and picks with her left toe pick to jump. Her new challenging flip glides on her left foot and picks with her right toe pick to jump. The flip jump also rotates a bit more in the air to complete one full rotation. She couldn’t land her flip because she kept overthinking: how she might fall, why it wasn’t working, how long this new skill was taking to learn.

As my skater was running through her easier jumps to warm up, she was not very focused. She was merely going through the motions feeling confident and comfortable. It was time for her toe loop, the jump she always lands. This day however, she was turning to glide on her left foot instead of her right. She proceeded to pick with her right toe pick – again, thinking she was doing her toe loop – and landed her first beautiful flip jump. Success!

She skated back to me, ready for me to send her out for her next skill, completely unaware she had succeeded in landing the jump she believed to be so difficult. Imagine her surprise when she saw how excited I was to celebrate her new jump! It took her a few more days to fully achieve consistency, but soon she relaxed and trusted her ability to land her flip without focusing on the challenges it presented her.

Causes of Overthinking

Sometimes an athlete’s more challenging skill is made into a greater challenge because of their perception of the maneuver. Their idea of how hard something new will be may stem from the “reputation” of the move being extremely difficult. Athletes can fear something before they have a chance to give it a try. They have possibly seen another athlete struggle while trying the harder skill. They may have heard something is “so hard,” that even finding the courage to make their own attempt seems impossible.

Your child may have been working on a higher level and have been met with failure with a particular skill. A painful experience could create a mental block from fear of being hurt again. They may have been embarrassed when they fell repeatedly. Athletes put more pressure on themselves if they feel they are letting their coach or parents down by not progressing quickly. Or they may simply be frustrated and exhausted after countless failed attempts.

How May We Help?

How can you help your child through these episodes when their confidence is shaken? 

When my son’s team lost a baseball game he was pitching, I would be sure to mention the great hit he had, or the one player he struck out. If nothing went well, I would share a kind word a parent or teammate said about him and his sportsmanship, effort, or strengths he brought to the team. We would say something positive about the disaster on the field (there can always be something.) 

As he was feeling slightly better about himself, he could look at his mistakes or acknowledge what did not feel right. He could plan to practice and improve one aspect of his performance for the next game. He was still upset and not as self-assured at the next practice or game. However, there was usually a silver lining, and that may be enough to motivate an athlete to keep trying to succeed with their next challenge.

Ruminating over mistakes or troublesome challenges doesn’t benefit an athlete as they strive to achieve a new skill. Learning the technique and practicing until they know how it feels to do something correctly sets the pathway toward muscle memory and consistency. Once that is achieved, it is time to celebrate then learn something new.

Coaching & Training

Communicate with your child’s coach if a specific challenge is increasing their stress and decreasing their self-esteem. With their coach, an athlete can set attainable goals. They can find little successes along the way toward conquering their bigger challenges. Every small win in practice or competition can increase an athlete’s confidence. My skaters remind me how hard it was for them to learn skills they feel are easy for them now. These reminders help put current “impossible” feats in perspective.

I would not push an athlete to match the timeline of a peer or competitor if they are both learning the same skill. Everyone learns at their own pace. Your child may take longer to progress in one aspect of their sport. At the same time, they may excel at a skill while their teammate is still figuring out how to do it. Instead of thinking about their skills as they practice, they begin to worry about keeping up with everyone else around them.

You want your athlete to trust their training and to believe in themselves. They’re allowed to make mistakes. They will learn from greater challenges. Eventually, they will achieve and move on to another skill. When the competition or evaluation arrives, they will know how to perform well because they practiced well.

Without overthinking and with your support, an athlete will feel less stress and will find more success and joy in their game.